What is underneath?
Do you ever feel like you are always trying to fix what is happening on the surface, fix symptoms, without ever understanding what is happening underneath—the real root cause?
I’m a native Floridian, and saying I love the beach is an understatement.
The other day I asked someone, “When you go to the beach, do you spend hours in the ocean?” They laughed and said, “No.”
I was surprised because I honestly thought everyone did.
I love walking where the waves just kiss my feet. I love standing waist-deep as the tide moves around me. But my favorite thing is swimming far enough out that I’m completely surrounded by water. There is something awe-inspiring about being immersed in something so much bigger than myself. Looking in every direction, I can’t see where it ends. I love it!
So why am I telling you this?
Because it reminds me of an insight from John Eldredge’s book Resilient, where he describes the three depths of our being: the Shallows, the Midlands, and the Depths.
It’s a simple picture, but one that has profoundly shaped the way I understand both my own heart and the hearts of others.
It also explains why so many of us feel overwhelmed by life. More importantly, it reveals what is really happening in our innermost being—the place where our fears, desires, wounds, healing, and deepest connection with God reside.
The Shallows
Most people live in the Shallows. This is the surface of life.
It’s where notifications buzz, schedules overflow, social media never stops scrolling, and our minds jump from one thing to the next. (This is where my ADHD really likes to make an appearance!)
The Shallows aren’t inherently bad. We all have work, school, families, responsibilities, and commitments.
The problem is that many of us never leave this level.
We wake up and immediately check our phones. We consume information all day long. We answer emails, respond to texts, pay bills, watch videos, listen to podcasts, and finally collapse into bed—only to wake up and repeat it all over again tomorrow.
We live in a culture addicted to stimulation.
Ironically, the more information we consume, the less connected we often become—to ourselves, to the people we love, and ultimately to God.
Psalm 46:10 gently reminds us:
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Stillness has become one of the most neglected spiritual disciplines of our time.
The Midlands
Many of us don’t know how to sit quietly long enough to hear our own thoughts, much less hear God’s voice.
But when we finally slow down, something begins to surface. This is where we encounter the Midlands.
The Midlands are where our fears, disappointments, grief, shame, unresolved pain, and unanswered questions live. It’s the place most of us avoid because it feels uncomfortable.
This is one reason we stay busy. Busyness can be one of the most effective distractions from pain. The moment we stop moving, we begin to feel what has been there all along.
For many people, this happens at night right before you fall asleep. The room grows quiet. The distractions disappear.
And suddenly the questions begin.
Why did that relationship end?
What about that issue at work?
Why do I worry about money, the kids etc?
What if I lose everything... again?
Many people mistake the Midlands for their identity.
They assume that because they feel anxious, they are anxiety.
Because they feel insecure, they believe they are an imposter waiting to be exposed.
Because you feel lonely means you are alone.
But the Midlands are not your deepest reality. They are not your identity!
They are simply a place you must move through, not a place where you were meant to live.
King David understood this.
He honestly asked,
“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?” (Psalm 42:11)
David didn’t deny his emotions. He acknowledged them. But he also refused to let them define him.
I’ve often thought it’s interesting that the word emotion contains the word motion.
Emotions were never meant to become permanent residences. They were meant to move us toward healing. I always tell people, “emotions are indicators, not dictators.”
Too many of us either suppress our emotions or become consumed by them.
Scripture offers a better way. Acknowledge them. Bring them before God. Then keep moving deeper.
The Depths
Beneath the noise...
Beneath the fear...
Beneath the anxiety...
Lies what Eldredge calls the Depths.
The Depths are the truest part of who you are. This is where God’s Spirit meets your spirit.
This is where your identity is rooted—not in your performance, your failures, or your fears, but in Him.
It’s the quiet center of your soul that remains untouched by changing circumstances.
Life may feel chaotic on the surface.
The Midlands may feel stormy.
But in the Depths, God is present.
His peace is present. His wisdom is present. His love is present.
This always reminds me of Jesus sleeping in the boat during the storm.
The disciples were panicking.
The waves were crashing.
Fear had completely taken over.
Yet Jesus rested.
The storm around Him was real, but it wasn’t defining the storm within Him.
How often do we spend our lives trying to control our circumstances in hopes of finding peace?
Jesus shows us something entirely different.
Peace isn’t found by controlling the storm.
Peace is found by living from a deeper place.
The Apostle Paul describes it this way:
“The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)
It’s a peace that doesn’t always make sense.
A peace that remains even when life doesn’t. I felt this peace when my own father was dying, I could not explain it, but I felt it so deep within my very being.
Why This Matters
One reason I’m so passionate about mental health is because so much of what people carry remains hidden beneath the surface.
People silently carry anxiety.
Grief.
Shame.
Loneliness.
Disappointment.
Fear.
Trauma.
Yet on the outside they appear completely fine.
The Shallows teach us to perform.
The Midlands reveal what we’re carrying.
The Depths remind us of whose we are.
It is in the Depths that God whispers our true identity and begins revealing the purpose He created us for.
Many people spend years trying to manage symptoms without ever exploring what is happening in the depths of their own hearts.
I’ve learned that behavior modification alone rarely creates lasting change. It usually lasts about only 2 weeks.
If the heart is never truly seen, heard, and healed, the symptoms eventually return. They may disappear for a season, but unless the deeper wounds are addressed, they often find their way back to the surface.
Real transformation doesn’t begin by changing behavior.
It begins when God touches, softens and heals our hearts.
The beautiful truth is this:
God is never intimidated by what we discover there in the depths.
In fact, He is inviting us there.
The journey toward healing often begins the moment we stop running from our inner world and start paying attention to it. As a coach, I often remind people, “You can’t heal what you refuse to feel.” Many of us spend our lives trying to escape ourselves.
Yet God continually invites us inward, because deep within us is where He has chosen to dwell.
The world teaches us to stay on the surface. God invites us into the depths.
Just like I love swimming out into the depths of the ocean, over my head not knowing what I will encounter it is uncertain but thrilling at the same time!
The Shallows are loud.
Like standing at the shoreline where the waves relentlessly crash against my legs, life is filled with constant noise, distractions, and demands. It is easy to spend our days there, never moving beyond what is comfortable.
The Midlands are uncomfortable.
You venture out a little farther into the ocean, but you start to have to stretch to keep your feet on the bottom and your head above the water. You can feel the pull of the currents beneath you which can be unsettling. You feel the adventure of deeper waters but do not want to surrender the security of what you can still control.
But the depths are different.
The depths are where healing begins. They are where God gently uncovers what we’ve buried beneath years of busyness, fear, shame, and striving. The depths are where resilience is formed, wisdom is gained, strength is renewed, and joy is no longer dependent on our circumstances.
Most importantly, the depths remind us that we were never meant to navigate life alone. The deeper we go with God, the more we discover that He has been with us all along—not waiting on the shore but inviting us into the very place where we become who He created us to be.
If this resonates with you, I highly recommend reading Resilient by John Eldredge. It offers a beautiful invitation to move beyond surviving on the surface and begin living from the deepest place of all—the place where God is already waiting.